‘Friendship’ the Litmus Test of Life

International Day of Friendship 2021 / 30 July / Article

‘Friendship’ the Litmus Test of Life

Fr Dr M. D. Thomas

Director, Institute of Harmony and Peace Studies, New Delhi

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30 July is ‘International Day of Friendship’. It could also be called ‘International Friendship Day’ or ‘World Friendship Day’. Further, ‘Friendship Day’ or ‘Friend’s Day’ is a more simplified version of the same, too. While the day is celebrated on the same day in most of the countries, some countries celebrate it on different dates, like Bolivia on 23 July, Ohio on 09 April and Finland on 14 February. India celebrates Friendship Day on the first Sunday of August and this year it falls on the first day of August, as well.

 

The original idea for a ‘day of friendship’ seems to have emerged from Joyce Hall, the founder of Hallmark cards, in 1930, who intended to celebrate friendship day on the 2nd day of August. ‘Greeting card’ was used as a medium of promoting friendship, rightly so. But, unfortunately, it was construed cynically by the public as a money making exercise. Therefore, the idea did not take off. All the same, then on, the idea of a day to honour friendship through giving cards, flowers and wrist bands continued, though in a low key. It was adopted by a number of countries in Asia and exchange of gifts was used for celebrating friendships.

 

There is another story behind this day, more substantial and productive. The idea of a ‘World Friendship Day’ was first proposed on 20 July 1958, by Dr Ramon Artemio Bracho, during a dinner with friends in Puerto Pinasco, in Paraguay. A medical doctor by profession, Dr Ramon believed that ‘friendship is crucial in overcoming cultural, political and religious barriers among people around the world’.

 

This great thought, even though in the humble meeting of friends, gave birth to a ‘World Friendship Crusade’, which is an international civil organization that campaigns to foster a ‘culture of peace through friendship’. This foundation promotes ‘friendship and fellowship among all human beings, regardless of race, colour or religion’. Since then, 30 July has been celebrated as ‘Friendship Day’ in Paraguay every year. It has been adopted by several other countries, too.

 

Later, World Friendship Crusade proposed the day to the United Nations, which in its 65th session of the General Assembly on 27 April 2011 declared 30 July as official ‘International Day of Friendship’. Accordingly, the Member States of the United Nations are invited to observe the International Day of Friendship in accordance with the culture and customs of their local, national and regional communities, along with activities for raising public awareness and education in the line.

 

Paraguay, the birth place of the idea of World Friendship day, has an interesting and creditable practice. On the eve of 30 July the game of the ‘Invisible Friend’ or Amigo Invisible is played, in which small sheets of paper with names are given to all members of a group and each of them secretly selects one and on 30 July gives a present to the person whose name is on the paper. This custom is practiced in both schools and workplaces in Asunción and other Paraguayan cities. Needless to state that present is given to close friends and loved ones, and celebrations often took place in common places, like bars and nightclubs. 

 

Of late, with the growing popularity of social media throughout the world, there has been an increase in celebrating World Friendship day online as well as with community activities in local communities. These activities are geared towards bringing people of different backgrounds together. Various groups on the internet, social media, mobile phones, whatsapp and other portals cheer up social interaction and inter-personal connectivity unto greater socialization.

 

Well, so much for the origin and evolution of the day in question. As a matter of fact, human beings are social beings and it is the ‘spirit of friendship’ that drives human life forward. That’s why it could be said without any exaggeration that ‘friendship’ is ‘the most beautiful relationship in the world’. It is because it is a relationship between people, who like each other and enjoy the company of each other. Friendship is an enduring affection, esteem, intimacy and trust between two people. This is a relationship that remains throughout the span of life of a person. It is the strongest form of inter-personal relationship, too. 

 

As the age-old proverb goes, “a friend in need is a friend indeed”. One who reaches out to you in times of need is a friend indeed, well, a friend in deed or action, too. In other words, friendship is tested in terms of one’s capacity to abide by the other especially in his or her odds. True friendship is selfless and other-oriented. Even when the entire world has deserted you, if there is someone around you still, that is a friend worth the name. In spite of the fact that a genuine friend is a rare commodity in the selfish and utilitarian world of the modern times, friendship is precisely what sustains the human world even today and ahead, as well.

 

There is a series of sayings that highlight the different aspects of friendship. One, ‘life is to be counted in terms of the number of friends and not the riches and amenities of life’. Two, ‘tell me who your friends are, I will tell you what sort of a person you are’. Three, ‘similar seeks similar’ and it is true that similar interests and aptitudes are vital in sustaining friendship. Four, if one can get hold of someone with different interests and aptitudes, and sustain a friendship with him or her, it will be a very enriching and rare friendship’.

 

What’s more, Jesus, a teacher of godly standing, told his disciples ‘I do not call you servants, but ‘friends’, because I have shared with you all that I heard from my heavenly Father’. Two top qualities of friendship are ingrained here, one, ‘a spirit of equal footing’ and two, ‘a spirit of total confiding in’. These two characteristics define a good friendship on earth. There is no consideration of high or low, great or small, old or young, white or black and rich or poor among friends. One could pour out one’s heart, without the least fear of being deceived, too. The friendship of ‘Krishn and Sudama’ is a case in point here, as well.  

 

It is high time people of diverse backgrounds and affiliations became good friends, all the more, rising above considerations of faith, language, ideologies, cultures, nationalities and other traditions and social mores. Only then, we humans can make the best sense out of our lives. Only then, ‘unity in diversity’ will stand to reason. Only then, we have any right to utter the phrase ‘vasuthaiv kutumbakam’. If this does not happen, I believe, we humans will have to hang our heads in shame, finding ourselves unworthy of the divine power of creation, whom we call God, and that is much below the dignity the humans are endowed with, too. Well, the humans require ‘rising again’ from the junk of life they have sunk into.    

 

On the occasion of ‘International Day of Friendship’, it is worth the while for the citizens of India and beyond to resolve to prove to be ‘good friends to one and all’ and to wear a ‘friendly mindset’ to every human being who comes across in life, without any consideration of superior or inferior. It shall be our endeavour to make friendship with people of all faiths and ideologies, all cultures and nationalities and contribute collectively to the harmonious living of the human society in special and the entire creation in general.       

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The author is Director, Institute of Harmony and Peace Studies, New Delhi, and has been committed to interfaith relations, national integration and social harmony, for the past over 40 years. He contributes to the above cause through lectures, articles, video messages, conferences, social interactions, views at TV channels, and the like.

He could be viewed, listened to and contacted at the following portals – websites www.mdthomas.in’ (p), ‘https://mdthomas.academia.edu’, ‘https://drmdthomas.blogspot.comand www.ihpsindia.org’ (o); social media https://www.youtube.com/InstituteofHarmonyandPeaceStudies’, ‘https://twitter.com/mdthomas53’, ‘https://www.facebook.com/mdthomas53’; email ‘mdthomas53@gmail.com’ and telephone 9810535378.

 

 

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